Setting goals that stick
You can still set goals now
Following up on the newsletter from last week on how to do a mid-year review, today I'm going to be sharing some things I’ve learnt on how to set goals to actually achieve them
1. Understand your why
Be very honest with yourself about your motivations, whether they're financial or personal. Your 'why' should be a strong enough reason to keep you going when things get tough.
I’m currently learning Dutch, and I want to be at B2 proficiency by the end of the year. And why I want to do that is because I live in the Netherlands and I plan to live here for the foreseeable future. I believe that it won’t only help me with integrating in the community, but it’ll also help with my career advancement
You can have any reason for wanting to achieve a goal: it could be altruistic, it could be to feel good about yourself, it could be for the money. Whatever it is, it is important to be honest about the why because that's the thing that will keep you going.
2. Be realistic…
We often plan life as if it will unfold linearly, without unexpected obstacles and detours. However in reality, there can be unforeseen events that can derail our plans. Consider the context of your real life, not your ideal life, when setting goals.
If you work a night job, setting a goal to sleep at 8:00 p.m. might be unrealistic. Similarly, if you have multiple demanding responsibilities, aiming to work out 3 hours daily might be unachievable.
When setting goals, consider your actual circumstances and leave room for flexibility. If possible, adjust your situation to align with your goals. This could look like:
Dropping non-essential commitments to focus on priority goals
Adjusting your schedule to accommodate your goals
Being kind to yourself when unexpected setbacks occur
Realistic goal-setting takes into account your unique context and limitations. By doing so, you'll be more likely to achieve your goals and maintain motivation.
3. … but stretch yourself
Set goals that push your limits. This is not in terms of the practicalities of achieving the goal but about aiming to do something that stretches you.
However, be mindful that not all goals should be stretch goals. Having only stretch goals can lead to burnout and discouragement. I've learned this from personal experience; making all my goals stretch goals has been overwhelming and demoralising at times.
Instead, strike a balance and set some goals that are realistic and achievable, while also having a few stretch goals that challenge you.
My goal to achieve B2 Dutch proficiency by the end of the year is a bit of a stretch given all my other responsibilities and goals, but it’s still possible if I am able to reprioritise my time, do a lot of self study, and pass all the tests at the end of every class level.
So just try to challenge yourself while at the same time thinking about the context of your life.
4. Establish accountability systems
Internal motivation is crucial, but external accountability can provide an added boost and help you stay on track. Consider the following that can help:
Accountability partners: Collaborate with friends or like-minded individuals working towards similar goals. You can schedule regular calls where you both/all focus on your respective tasks without discussing or catching up. This could be writing, coding, taking a course or any other activity.
Focus-enhancing tools: Utilize apps that help you stay concentrated by blocking distracting websites or social media.
Mentorship: Share your goals with a respected mentor or someone you admire, and ask them to hold you accountable. This can provide an added motivation to stay on track.
External commitments: Share your goals publicly or with a community to increase accountability.
The goal is to create a support system that encourages you to stay focused and committed to achieving your goals. This could be a combination of the strategies mentioned above or something else.
I have heard a lot of people talk about sending money to someone and saying that if I don't do this by XYZ date, then they can have the money. This can be a form of motivation.
In a coaching community I belong, my coach, DDK, says that you have to have enough self-respect to do the thing that you say you will do. So yes, have accountability systems and people that can keep you accountable, but at the end of the day, it's important to be accountable to yourself.
5. Constantly review and celebrate milestones
You should be reviewing your goals on a frequency that makes sense for you, be it weekly, monthly, or quarterly. That helps you see if you’re on track, if you need to change things up, if you need to abandon the goal, or if you need to move it for a later time.
You should also have milestones that you can celebrate when you have achieved a part of the goal. Especially for big goals. If you don’t break them down, they always seem out of reach and it can feel like you’re not making progress even when you are.
Think of ways that you can celebrate the milestones that you have accomplished in the process of achieving your goal.
When I finished the first part of B1, I went out with a friend and had the best cheesecake I’ve eaten in my life
6. Focus on the process, not the outcome
When setting goals, it's essential to focus on the process, not just the outcome. The journey to goal achievement is important and it’s necessary to see the value in that. Effort also counts, when you put in your best.
Outcome focused goals can lead to disappointment and discouragement if not achieved, even with consistent effort. Instead, focus on developing habits and processes that lead to your desired outcome.
By focusing on the process, you'll find value in the habits you've developed, even if the outcome isn't achieved. The habits and processes you develop can be applied to other areas of life, even if the original outcome isn't achieved. For example
Even if you don’t reach your target weight goal by the timeline you’ve determined, you would have developed habits like healthy eating, regular exercise, and moving your body. You’d have become stronger and you’ll feel better.
Even if you don’t get the promotion at work, you’d have built helpful skills like knowing how to showcase your work, building relationships across teams, and visibility and self promotion. These skills will serve you in other contexts such as interviewing or at another work place, or even in your personal life
The process is just as valuable as the outcome. By focusing on the process, you'll find consistent progress and development, even if the outcome isn't exactly as desired.
Interesting Links
The Cry Baby Olympics (The Atlantic)
Three reasons we’re in an AI bubble, and four reasons we’re not (Platformer)
Cognitive biases you don’t think about (Perspectives by Deb Liu)
Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s Five Principles of Personal Freedom (The Atlantic)
I Traded My Ambitions For The Cross And I Found True Life And Meaning (Adenike Raks)
Walking with God to Do Things You Never Thought You Could (Bare and Blessed)
Work Hard and Take Everything Seriously (Tom MacWright)
What would you do with one week of unexpected wealth (Untrickled by Michelle Teheux)